jenny. nyeneks. jen. twenty-one.
currently a bum, but not for long. youngest of five. singer. loves to eat. sentimental. luvs music. butterflies. christian.
trumpets
girl. grad team. joyclub.
about site.
version: three. simple things. host:blogger. tools: microsoft frontpage, adobe photo deluxe, loads of love. c",)
what about?
this
site is where she rants and blogs about her oh-so-colorful
life, sprinkled with the simple joys God has blessed her with.
the weather is getting cold
a sign that christmas season is fast approaching
but people are getting colder
a sign of friendships drifting apart
maybe, this is just what the moment calls
and not a permanent condition
for i still long to hold on
though, we both moved on
im doing well
but the other is not
changes come to me
and so to the other
but with the others' troubled time
it is i, who should be stronger
open-mindedness, prayer and understanding
that's the best help i could offer
silence and distance, just for now
to give the loneness that other thirsts for
i respect privacy
i believe in personal learnings
to let the other be trained
by the master teacher Himself
look up at Him
learn to stand alone
with or without ones' presence
unto Him we're both secured
i dunno how long will this last
or if this will forever be
but this shouldnt bother me
for in Him, we both can see
i'll just wait till the other is okey
for i wont pressure him for sure
i know that the other is subject changes
adjustment period - as he once told
clueless as i am
on what bothers a precious angel
it could be me, or something else
but whatever it is, i know He knows it well
changes. changes.
we're all subject to that
the other is into a great degree turn
while i catch up, and see where will it go
im hanging, waiting
till i know where will this lead
trusting in His faithfulness
i know i have my peace
working gurl i've been working for 2 weeks now.. and so far.. i enjoy playing around with my so-called-work. ohh well... my work doesn't feel like a work to me... its much like a school. haha.
here i am, enjoying my monday at home.. coz i had a shift of sched. but the thing is... i have to report to the office tomorrow at 1-9am! =/
pinoysaints eb-kuno i was with ate jam, broks, ate moja, heiress, orinjade, normi, and kuya nikos (non-ps member,hehe) last night... UBE time. hehe. we watched kuya iking on 94.7 Lauch pad semi finals at robinsons gale.. after that, we ate at kfc, then jamaican and then auntie annes. haha. that's what you call - food trip. hehe. actually, we didnt eat much.. we just laughed and talked most of the time. after that, we watched dodgeball with ate baninert and kuya brian. it was fun. =)
techy talk i was chatting with a friend a while ago.. about his thesis proposal. we were like blubbering IT techy words about systems and database. haha. im sorta helping him out with his paper.. and so i suggested a client to him.. made my suggestions on the systems functionalities.. what database application to use.. etc. etc. i miss those kinda talks.. coz, the last time i had that kind of conversation was at school.. with my classmates. hehe.
allergies i still have my allergies. everytime i stay in my room (which is like, half of my day), i sneeze alot and shows sign of flu. im not taking any medicine.. coz i dont feel like taking one.. (though the doctor prescribed me what medicine to take already). someone actually "sorta" got mad at me, for not taking care of myself.. a constant reminder for me to take my medicines. hehe. but still, im the pasaway gurl. =p
ok. i have to stop now.. i gotta do alotta things today. i need to finish my report, fix my room, give amber bath, and fix my cloths... this will be a loonngg day.
i know that a lot of teenagers... and even adults, who are living with their parents or guardians (especially girls) are fighting for their freedom. they wanna do this.. they wanna do that.. without being scolded by an elder. i too, had that kind of experience before.. im the "feeling" liberated girl who does whatever she wants. even during my teenage years.. i was the daughter who's never afraid to go against the rules. ohh well.. my situation is really far different from the normal "home"... which i've considered as an excuse! haha. bad.
now.. im the 21-year old girl, who stays in a place outside our house (but its still in the same compound). has graduated and now working. someone who goes home anytime she wants. a girl who can do whatever she feels like doing. can go out-of-town anytime without asking for permission. no rules to follow. that's me.. the liberated little girl.
too much freedom is really unhealthy. true, im not bounded by rules, yet i stick with my faith and principles. but this situation is scary. i need someone to scold at me, to slap my face, and to hit me once in a while. i need to hear irritating sermons from elders. someone has to hold me.. and pull me down when im too high. i need someone to tell me my mistakes, and to prove me that im wrong. i have to be aware of my boundaries.. and be sensitive with small details.
someone has to control my crazy freedom... coz if not, i'll get worse.
friendships, friendships, friendships
being cared by someone
feeling important
work that i now enjoy
having fun with my new friends at work
having "the accent" which i enjoy playing around
family that im getting more closer with
my dad that im appreciating more
my brother who is walking an extra-mile to be the "caring kuya"
being appreciated (4 out of 6 guys in my batch has a crush on me) haha! they're all blind!
feeling special
being at my best
ministry with the students
growing church
changed lives
being loved
hugs
2-hour international call
feeling pretty (haha!)
having enough for all that i need
sufficiency
compliment from a local actress (jennifer sevilla) -- "ang galing mo naman kumanta saka sumayaw" hehe.
new pink blouse
friends na nagtatampo but loves me just the same
ohh well.. i can name a lot of reasons why i feel much happy now... though, at a certain extent, i still feel the fear of being highly vulnerable. im still weak.. but not as weak as yesterday. more prayers for me.
looking forward to going to the office tomorrow. im that excited to work and see my friend there! hehe.
the great joys of life are also the source of great pains... everytime i remember it.. i still find tears in my eyes. im still at a state of shock and denial.. pretending to be strong. i convince myself that i can do it all fine.. that i can i've mastered the art of doing so... but i guess, its but a mask i wear.
i smile. i laugh. but deep within me.. i know my heart is dying in pain. the things that used to make me happy.. are now the things that make me cry. i miss the simple joy it brings me.. as it made me smile each day.
i thought that im good at letting go.. coz i've done it several times. but now it's different.
as they say, the best sacrifice that you could ever give Him.. is the most precious treasure that you have. not the defective.. not the faulty.. not the flawed.. but the best thing that you could ever surrender.
so now i cry.. as i lay down the best for Him. i may not still understand it now.. but i know, someday I will.
Letting go to know the truth Is not so hard to do It's the heart that's got the will To open up for Him to fill And trusting and believing Him Is all we've got to do It's just the heart that's got to move For Him to show His love that's been there Even when we never cared Take hold of His hand Let go and you'll understand [letting go -- gary v]
i have to be strong for him and in obedience of Him.. i still got a lot of things to learn.. and changes to live with.
im broken. in pain. hurting. but if this will make me grow more in love with HIM.. i'll trust in His ways... though i still cant understand it fully.
this is not just the best for me.. but for other people as well. and if only for this sacrifice.. God will do something really great in the lives of others.. i'd be more than willing to let go.
Lord, here goes my special gift.. my precious treasure. take it as my sacrifice for You.. that's the best i can offer You now. im letting it go for You. i love you Lord... more than words.
WHAZZUP WITH JENNY FROM THE BLOCK!?! some updates...
:: i have to enjoy my last 3 days as a bum. huhu. i'll miss this kinda life.
:: i signed the contract yesterday. im back in eastwood! whee! im still shocked at the moment..
:: i had a medical check-up this morning. x-ray, lab test, drug test, physical exam.. ohh well.. i didn't see the result. i have to process tomorrow my NBI clearance, SSS, BIR, cedula, and other stuff.. and i have to open a back account in Equitable bank in Eastwood. I have to submit all the requirements on monday. hope that i could finish them all.
:: i was assigned to do the promotions comm and kikay comm for the LCDC camp on october. i need to do a lot of thinking, planning and i have to tap people to help me.
:: i forgot to greet him happy birthday. anyway, belated happy birthday manong!
:: currently feeling lazy and jealous. tsk tsk
:: i need to do a lot of things... but im not doing it. grrr..
:: my sister and i had some fun talk about a guy. i've never told her stories about the special guys in my life.. coz she's really protective when it comes to her little sister... but this time, my sister knows him... not in person.. but atleast from my stories ;)
:: my dad and i are getting closer.. i dunno whats happening. hehe. all i know is that.. it's by God's grace. :)
:: something happened the other day. no sign of existence for 48 hours. the cow was problematic.. in tears i heard from the other line. i thought i'll hear the word "goodbye".. and sing the song for the last time. but when the conversation ended.. we both smiled and laughed. im glad that the angel is happy and crazy again. hehe.
:: its my brother's birthday today. we're supposed to play badminton this afternoon.. but i came home late from my med check-up. huhu. so they played without me :(
:: since i'll soon be working.. my students are pressured to take leadership roles (which i think is really good) yey! :)
ohh well.. i can still write more.. but i have to end this now.
the girl.
